1. The excitement of having your first beard coming in is tempered by the realization that it's coming in gray.
2. That teen-aged acne on your cheeks is erupting at the same time as those wild old-man hairs in your eyebrows.
3. Your teen-aged daughter won't hold your hand in public anymore, because she doesn't want the cute guys in the mall to think you're her boyfriend.
4. "Ohmygod, that was great... What? You wanna do it again..? Yeah, sure, but wait until the muscles in my lower back stop spasming."
5. The joy you feel at finally having your top surgery done is nearly indescribable. Then you discover the beer belly the tits had been hiding all that time.
6. Trying to get a beer and being carded... when you're *twice* the legal age limit for purchasing alcohol.
7. It's hard to get your kids to take your hollering at them seriously when your voice squeaks and cracks as you go for volume.
8. No matter how quietly you utter them, the "bbbrumm, bbbrumm" noises you make while fondling the Tonka trucks in ToysRUs gets you weirded out looks from the other customers.
9. The friends you've known for over 20 years let you get to the end of your eloquent diatribe against the jerks that think they own the roads, then raise one eyebrow and inquire, "So, you got your T shot yesterday, yes?"
10. Nose hairs..? Yeah, sure, ya betcha. Mustache..? "Um, hey, honey, pass me your mascara, will ya?"
By Les GS